To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3,1
Dear family in the Lord!
At times my life has been like the life of a conventional tomato.
Tomatoes in all their different kinds are to be considered an absolute everyday must-have food! Lycopene and antioxidant activity make these little mysteries (is it a fruit? does it belong on veggie tales??) your good friend when it comes to fighting free radicals in your body. The health benefits are more available and digestible if you cook with them. So start every veggie pan or pasta sauce with tomatoes and onions. Sauce away with tomatoes!
In Spiritual Spa#9 What would Jesus eat? I mentioned an important part of my personal history. I was part of a toxic christian fellowship for three years and that is now over three years ago. I was treated like a conventional tomato as described by Jillian Michaels in the much quoted book "Master your Metabolism".
A conventional tomato grows in overexploited, and with that nutrient scarce, soil to meet the needs of parsimonious consumers. What was the soil in my group? The members. Any relationship where the stronger party uses the weaker to meet their needs is abusive. Instead of leading our gaze to Jesus and nurture a personal relationship with Him the leaders led us to look at and obey them. A soil void of nutrients.
A conventional tomato is not being trusted to deal with natural problems like weed or insect infestation. The risk that during the process of fighting opposing elements it could be killed overrides the benefit that in this process of struggle it can grow more attached to the ground and absorb more nutrients, becoming a tomato with higher nutrient levels. How does that translate into my cult situation? The leaders established an atmosphere where the person that pointed out a problem with the leadership became the problem. To undermine a persons ability to discern or at least give feedback on felt dynamics weakens/injures their trust in their personal sense of reality. If we shared problems that occurred with friends or family, usually having to do with them expressing concern, often resulted in having to give up all contact with them. A plantation sprayed with toxic pesticides against any potential problem.
A conventional tomato gets plucked and shipped before it is ripe to not turn moldy at the grocery store. Because it was harvested before its time it gets sprayed with argon gas to make it turn red prematurely. We really need to get this. I am not the only one that has been forced to "pretend like everything is great". We do it to ourselves and maybe even our families. We think we need to portray like we have it all together when in reality we don't. My life in this cult was ruled by charade. The leadership gained the trust of the vulnerable "sheep" and combined with complete confusion managed to produce followers that didn't know right from wrong because those words were up to the leadership's definition. We had to pay for leaderships plans and expenses. We had to give our time and the lack thereof. Cut off relationships including family. Be obedient to the point of insanity. We did terribly unloving deeds in the name of righteousness and "God". We looked down on other Christians, because we were shining examples of obedience, dying to the flesh, speaking in tongues, prophesying and doing what needed to be done to further a kingdom. We pretended we had it all figured out and professed trust and testimonies and defended the leadership when attacked- even though or maybe because they convinced or coerced us to play a part in their aspirations of grandeur. And all that with a smirk. Sprayed with toxic gas to appear ripe.
Guess what, when it comes to buying tomatoes I go organic!! :)
My life after leaving the dangerous influence of that leadership has been much more compared to the life of an organic tomato. The new soil the Father in heaven planted me into was filled with generous and loving people that did everything they could to nourish my broken soul. I was entrusted with having a unique personality and design. In the manner of the play "The king's speech" I learned that God gave me a voice and it is a great adventure to figure out what He wants to say through me. One outcome of that journey is this blog. People covenanted with me rather than seeking to rule over me and that laid a healthy foundation for life-giving relationships including struggles. I have been given permission to grow organically, meaning there is no force or demand on how I am to turn out. That is freedom.
So, dear family in the Lord, let's go vote every time we go into the grocery store as we pay $1 more and invest into organic tomatoes. No one should be treated like a conventional tomato, not even a tomato.
Be blessed abundantly!
